Use These 3 Principles to Train Yourself to Fear Less And Achieve More
How I doubled my income after my tech job vanished
I used to think of myself as allergic to risk.
I grew up in a middle-class Asian household. I was a good student from kindergarten to college.
I did the “right” things any Asian parents would be proud of: learning to play the piano, STEM degree, consulting, tech, data science.
I was a good saver. I put money into my pensions, and I did dollar month averaging into my S&P 500.
I was taught to take the safe path that leads to a predictable future.
So I did.
Then, 18 months ago, the rug got pulled out.
A termination notice dropped into my inbox while I was attending a wedding in Budapest.
Email title: “Termination Notice”
I stared at my phone for 10 seconds and shouted “F*ck” on the bus from the Budapest airport.
7 days later, I packed my bags and cleared my desk.
The job that made me feel “secure” and the title that I associated my identify with suddenly vanished.
I remember lying in bed staring at the ceiling, thinking to myself, “So this is it.”
That’s when something unexpected clicked.
If stability could disappear this fast, maybe risk wasn’t the enemy.
Maybe it was the teacher.
What happened when I stopped waiting and started building
I decided to start writing online and see where that’d take me - no backup job search.
I had one goal: build something of my own.
Three months later, a stranger messaged me on LinkedIn.
“Hey, can you coach me to land a data job like yours?”
That question became the spark.
Fast forward to now - I run Code to Careers, a coaching program helping data pros land top jobs and boost their salaries by $20–50K.
In the past year, I have:
Doubled my income (compared to my old salary) from coaching, consulting and products.
Spoken at two conferences with 550+ audience
Been featured in Business Insider
Been approached by 3 publishers for book deals
Been contacted by top universities to speak in front of their staff and students
Grew my team from just me to 2 employees and 2 mentors
However, the biggest transformation for me wasn’t financial.
It was emotional.
I stopped fearing and started acting.
But that didn’t just happen overnight - I trained for it tenaciously over the past 18 months.
In fact, the reason why I’m writing this article is because of this:
I believe anyone can do it with the right mindset and tools.
I’m sharing the 3 principles that helped me build fear tolerance like a muscle, so you can train yourself to fear less and achieve more.
1. The 5-second rule: Act before fear talks you out of it
There are two types of fear: rational vs. irrational.
Rational fear is when you’re in real danger
Irrational fear is when you’re not.
Example:
Rational fear: You feel your life is at risk when the zookeeper shouts: “The lion is out of the gate!”
Irrational fear: You feel you’re going to faint right before you’re about to go on stage.
Rational fear is a logical response to real danger, while irrational fear is an exaggerated or unfounded fear that can interfere with normal functioning.
Unfortunately, your brain cannot distinguish one from the other, and its only job is to protect you.
It will shout: “Run!” in both scenarios.
The trick is knowing when your fear is lying, and try not to let it paralyze you.
So here is where the “5 second” rule comes in:
When fear hits and there’s no real danger, act within 5 seconds.
Otherwise, your brain takes over and talks you out of it.
It’s like jumping into cold water - the longer you wait, the colder it feels.
Picture this:
You’re about to step on stage.
Your heart’s pounding. Your knees feel like jelly.
You count down - 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 - then you move your feet and get on that stage.
Nobody dies.
Now you’re in motion. Fear can’t win because you’re already doing the thing.
Here’s how you can train yourself with the “5-Second” rule:
Start small:
Ask that person out for coffee.
Introduce yourself at the next networking event.
Sign up for the program you’ve been hesitating about.
Track your wins.
Repeat and increase the risk as you go.
I used this exact principle to train myself to get comfortable with:
Posting my first insight on LinkedIn (low risk)
Speaking in front of a 400+ audience (medium risk)
Investing 5-figure into coaching and courses (higher risk)
Every time you act through fear, your brain learns: “Hey, I survived that.”
Over time, fear loses its grip, and courage becomes your default.
2. Ask yourself: What’s the cost of inaction?
“What’s the cost if you don’t do it?”
This question is especially helpful when you have to make a financial or time investment.
When your brain tells you “That’s too expensive” or “I don’t have time,” you need to push back and gauge the true cost of inaction.
Let’s say there’s a 12-week “Bikini body” program that costs $3,000.
At first, you flinch.
That’s your brain clinging to money like a security blanket - that’s how we were raised after all.
To retrain our brain to view money as merely a means to an end, so you can use it as leverage to achieve your goals faster, you need to ask:
“This is expensive compared to what?”
What if that program helps you feel strong, confident, and healthy -
so confident that you perform better at work, your relationships improve, and you finally like what you see in the mirror?
Now ask again: What’s more expensive - the $3K or another year of feeling gross?
And the worst thing is, if you don’t put that 3K down on the gym, you’re gonna spend it over the next 3 months on random things anyway.
When I launched my business, the cost of not doing it felt heavier than the fear of failing. I asked myself:
“How long have you been thinking about building your own thing but haven’t taken action?” (2 years)
“How would you feel when another 2 years has gone by and you’d still haven’t done anything?” (Terrible)
“How would you feel when you tried something but failed?” (Not too bad, I can always get another job)
“How would you feel when you can pay your bills with money made from your business?” (Incredible)
One key lesson I learned is this:
Inaction is the silent thief.
It steals dreams while pretending to keep you safe.
So next time you hesitate, flip the script:
Known downside: Upfront investment, but usually manageable and certain.
Potential upside: Life-changing results.
3. Play the numbers: estimate, don’t assume
Here’s one for the data nerds (I see you).
You already know expected value = probability x payoff.
Use it in life, not just work.
Let’s go back to that $3K bikini body program.
Probability: Say you’re going to the Bahamas in 3 months, so you’re pretty motivated to look hot and be healthy → your chance of sticking with it is 90%.
Payoff: A confidence boost and better performance that lands you a $20K promotion + more dedication and energy with your partner which saves you $1000 worth of dinner dates and gifts.
Your expected value = 0.9 × $21,000 = $18,900.
ROI: 63x.
You’d trade $3K for $19K in a heartbeat if it were a stock.
So why hesitate when the stock is you?
When I weighed the odds of my own business, I calculated the same way.
If I gave it my all for 12 months, what were the odds I’d fail completely? Low.
Even if I didn’t make six figures, I’d build skills, a network, and resilience - things no layoff could take away.
That math made fear feel smaller.
Because it wasn’t about “What if I fail?” anymore.
It was “What’s the expected value if I try?”
Closing thought: Master fear or be mastered by it
As human beings, our brains are built to keep us alive, not fulfilled.
That means safety will always feel smarter than courage.
But the people who rise - who create, lead, inspire - aren’t fearless.
They just act in spite of fear.
As Nelson Mandela said, “Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.”
Picture yourself one year from now:
Sitting somewhere warm and cozy, coffee in hand, doing work that actually excites you with good health.
Imagine looking back and thinking, “I’m so glad I didn’t play it safe.”
Because once you train yourself to fear less, everything else gets easier.